Yesterday, while soaking in the hot tub in the locker room at the gym, I couldn’t help but stare at CNN, now apparently dubbed HLN (as in, Headline News), blaring on the television 15 feet in front of my face, as they spent nearly an hour (an hour!) on two stories:

1. some idiot teenager set himself on fire imitating something he saw on YouTube, and now his idiot mother is suing YouTube, and they had viewers call in and pontificate on whether or not the mother was rational for suing YouTube, and then they had the lawyer on that’s representing the mother, and boy, what a douche that guy was;

and 2. a story about a guy who went to prison for not paying child-support for a kid that wasn’t biologically his. It’s complicated and sad, and I guess it’s a legitimate story, but seriously!

An hour! On these two stories.

And people wonder why Americans have no idea what’s actually going on in the world, or why it’s all going to shit faster than a 13-year-old imbecile can cover himself in gasoline and ignite a lighter. Survival of the fittest, dude. Evolution cut you a break, don’t push it.

Or maybe they don’t wonder. I don’t know: is CNN HLN still considered a legitimate news source? Their web site is nothing but stories about Michael Jackson and kids being left in cars. I haven’t watched the actual channel in years, until yesterday.


One response to “News-worthy

  1. Dude, Headline News is awful. I sometimes get stuck watching it in a waiting room or something, and it’s just sad.

    There’s still real CNN, though, which I haven’t really watched in years either. All of those news stations make me want to punch a hole in the television.

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