Sometimes it’s true that you can’t go home again

I’ve spent the last couple of weeks not really thinking about the 4 vitriolic anti-gay amendments passed on that otherwise glorious Day of Reckoning on November 4th. Partly because at this stage of the game, I just truly don’t care that much, and partly because I don’t really expect anything different from our mostly uneducated, willfully ignorant, happily bigoted population of the United States. The amendment I’ve spent the least amount of time thinking about, truthfully, is probably the one that should hit closest to home, but doesn’t: the passage of Arkansas’ amendment that gay (or unwed) couples can no longer be foster parents or adopt children. But don’t let that “unwed” part fool you into thinking that wasn’t an amendment based completely and utterly on blind hatred.

I explained it to a friend a few days ago, but had it backwards. Several years ago, someone tried to float an amendment simply barring those diseased gays from becoming foster parents, but a local judge denied it, calling it unconstitutional, so it never went to ballot. So it was revised to include any single person, or unwed couple, and since gays can’t legally wed in Arkansas, voila! The job is done. This one got by a judge (somehow) and went to ballot, and overwhelmingly passed.

This honestly confounds me far more than gay marriage. I mean, I realize that gays are all hedonistic, Satan-worshipping child molesters that eat babies on Christmas morning, but this shit didn’t even fly in Texas! (And everything demonizing gay folks flies in Texas.) What I find most laughable (and pathetically depressing) is that this doesn’t really hurt gay people. If they want gabies that bad, they can take their business (and tax dollars) elsewhere in the country. This really just hurts kids. It’s astonishing, and I mean completely, unspeakably unbelievable to me that people in that state hate gay people so much, that they’re willing to significantly deplete the pool of available foster parents in order to try to hold some kind of moralistic superiority over the heads of gay people, and create a much more dangerous and hostile atmosphere than before. And remember this ban also includes single and unmarried straight people. That’s how badly people in this state wanted to try to make life miserable for the mo’s.

It’s astonishing, and one can only conclude that anyone who voted for this ban either has ice water in their veins, and doesn’t give one shit about kids in desperate need (unless they plan on fostering or adopting all the needy children, which I highly doubt), or they’re simply stupid. I won’t even give them the benefit of being “uneducated” or “ignorant of the facts,” or all the other bullshit p.c. euphemisms we throw around in this country to excuse fascist Christian’s desperately longed-for gay genocide. I’m not going to try to reason with these people, or calmly explain to them why I’m a human being, or try to be a model of love and forgiveness. Fuck that shit. If you voted for this, you’re a stupid fuck and should probably do us all a Darwinian favor and throw yourself off a cliff (before you create anymore babies, especially, that you’ll probably beat and neglect, but that’s okay, because you’re straight and married). Come on, seriously, take one for the team.

I don’t plan on ever living in Arkansas again, and got out of Arkansas as quickly as I could. It’s not a place I’ve ever felt safe, or would ever feel safe taking my family, or really care about at all. And that’s unfortunate, since all the rest of my family lives there. I assume this amendment will be overturned at some point in the future, but what really concerns me is my own future. What if i have to move back to Arkansas sometime to take care of an ailing parent or something, and have to take my family with me? Since we would technically be residents of another state, would we be protected, or subject to Arkansas law? That prospect I find terrifying. And it’s not such an outlandish prospect. (Not to mention the physical danger of two men raising kids in Northwest Arkansas, of all godforsaken places.) I decided recently that once I’m done with school, I want to start taking tentative steps towards gettin’ me some babies, one way or another, and my parents are getting on with age (though they’re both still in great health). It’s a real concern I have. (And, uh, this isn’t anything I’ve actually spoken to my Significant Other about, so I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get there…?)

It’s ironic to me that the more visible and outspoken the gays are, and the more rights we’re granted in places where people have brains and hearts, the more threatened other people are by that, and feel the need to regressively pass laws that criminalize and dehumanize our lives. Whereas if that visibility didn’t exist so much, people might be more willing to just let things be, and not pass draconian laws punishing kids, who have already suffered so much, in their attempts to punish gay people for being born gay.

Funny how that works.


One response to “Sometimes it’s true that you can’t go home again

  1. Pingback: Busting down the closet « Songs About Rainbows

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