My first day of class is tomorrow and none too soon. Jody’s first day of student teaching was today, and hence, I spent my first day alone in Oregon. In Forest Grove, no less. It was nice: I picked up my check that I’m going to be living on for the next 4 months (someone’s going to have to learn how to budget….); I read a lot; I watched a movie. But I also got very lonely and fairly bored, a deadly combination that equals depression. I also realize that I need to learn how to be a little lonely and idle without it affecting my mood so much. But dig a little deeper, and I think today the gravity of this move really hit me. How far away I am, how much is at stake, the people I’ve left. It was totally my decision to do so, and I’m glad I did, but it was easy to not really think about it very much until I actually had a full day to be alone and reflect on it.
I’m really looking forward to tomorrow, though, and I desperately want to be the smartest boy in the class. In fact, I’ve already read two chapters of the textbook for my class tomorrow night. It’s not really a textbook, though, it’s a real book, but one we use in class. It’s called Ethics in Psychotherapy and Counseling, and I wanted to be prepared if the professor happened to ask any questions about it.
This is me giving a shit about something. I can get insufferable.
So, in other words, I think I’ve had just the perfect amount of time to be here and jerk around a little bit before class. Just long enough to start feeling like I need to be doing something, and that I’m wasting time.